Catch your Baby yourself

Yesterday my new landlady here in San Cristobal (Mexico) asked me what I work. I said I was a midwife and she was blown away. And the first thing she asked me, and in retrospect I thought that was great: “Did you give birth yourself?” At first, I didn't quite understand the question, but then it dawned on me. And I said, "Yes, I caught Laya myself!" What does that mean? I saw this for the first time during my training with a home birth midwife in the South of Germany. A woman giving birth to her second child was sitting in the tub and was already diligently pushing. I thought when the midwife would finally do something (I was still in my hospital mode). But she did nothing. Just “nothing”*.

But the woman did, completely undisturbed and instinctively, gently and self-determinedly pushed her child into her hand. She could determine exactly how much she was pushing, how fast, how slow... I was fascinated. And then I saw it many more times, and during my time in the Hamburg birth center or my work in the Philippines and here in Mexico, it was always very important to me to give women this opportunity. Some didn't want to, but most touched the baby's head either vaginally or when it was (almost) born. The expression on a woman's face when she can feel with her hands how close she is to holding her child in her arms is indescribable. For a long time afterward, these moments are told to me by the women. Fathers or siblings also touched the heads of the baby that was just being born. And of course, many women also pick up their children themselves and decide for themselves when it is the right moment to put the baby in their arms. Why should the midwife do this? Right? I'm the least connected with the baby in the birthing space. I have often experienced that mother and father look at the child, who for example was born on the floor (on a mat) etc., for a few more seconds before picking it up. And I always find that a really great and very conscious moment.

In the hospital, people like to use the term DELIVERY. This shows that someone else is doing something and relieving you of something or bringing something to you. Such a passive term not only displeases me, and many other women, but a paradigm shift is needed. We give birth to our children as self-determinedly possible and as gently as living beings deserve. The movement is slowly moving towards more and more women taking the birth of their children into their own hands. And that's good. I, as I said before, gave birth to Laya without outside intervention. Although I had a lot of massaging hands and helpers, as you can see in the photo (please read my other blog posts), I examined myself vaginally and gave birth to Laya in my hands as well. And yes, self-direction and self-determination were extremely important to me. I had great difficulty giving birth to Laya's head. He wanted - I wasn't ready yet. So I held him back for a few seconds and let go when I was really 'ready'. This felt very important to my process of becoming a mother. And of course, this encouraged me in my work as a midwife too.

'Hands off', has been my motto for many years and I rather prefer to put my energy into supporting and encouraging the family, than to "I have to do something now". (Home birth) midwives are very different from doctors, who are geared towards intervention. Simply doing nothing and letting self-determination prevail is often difficult. And believe me, a woman giving birth is self-determination and an expression of universal power and beauty. You have to learn to endure it first. Luckily, that all comes with experience.

I hope this article is an enrichment for you and gives you food for thought on how you want to manifest your birth. I'm happy to be there for you to encourage you. *Of course, home birth midwives are extremely focused and only hold back when the birth allows for it. You can find more blog articles here on my homepage and you can also see my offers for you here. Arrange a free phone call with me at yourmidwifehour@gmail.com and maybe I can accompany you a little on your way to a self-determined birth. That would make me very happy because every birth counts.