Unassisted Birth & Free Birth - A New Trend? And why, as a midwife, I support it very much
- Apr 18, 2023
- 4 min read
Updated: Sep 19, 2023
When I became a midwife, this profession seemed to be the most important thing in the world. Being part of the beginning of a family was just a wonderful feeling.
My ego was pretty pumped I think. "Ahhh, you're a midwife, that's a great job... tell me!" And I told. But even then, after such a conversation, I noticed that I was actually mostly reporting about the women and the really not-so-great circumstances in the hospitals in Germany. So not so much about my job itself, but about the abuses and obstetric violence (worldwide).
Obstetric violence was and is a thing and I had to witness it too many times back then.
If you want to learn more about traumatizing births please watch this video:
In my other blog articles, I address it again and again: In many cases, self-determination during childbirth is simply not given and trauma quickly arises when the self-responsibility of the woman giving birth is taken away from her hand and violence (verbal, physical, emotional) is done. The same applies to the partner, who also feels helpless and overwhelmed in such situations.
After such an experience, many women choose to give birth outside of a hospital, at home, or in a birth center. Others immediately resort to the planned cesarean section, which they perceive could avoid the alleged effects of violence.
And then there is another group, a growing number of couples, who are choosing to give birth alone or freely, possibly even with their first child.
Initially, I observed this trend critically. But first I had to climb down from my “high horse” of being the undisputed midwife.
What kind of women are these who say very clearly that they want to give birth alone / freely and undisturbed?
They are usually very strong and self-confident people who trust in nature and take all the responsibility themselves. From the very beginning of pregnancy, they often have the feeling that they need to be alone and quiet in order to give this birth the time and space it needs. A gut feeling, a feeling for the child.
Please read my article “The baby is the real birthkeeper ”, in which I report how my son Laya chose his place and form of birth from the very beginning and gave me a lot of trust in him and in myself.
Did I give birth unassisted? Well, I had a very free birth, which took place in community, but there was no medically trained midwife present (other than myself). Again, there is a blog post about how I gave birth to Laya in community on the beach in Palawan.
So what is the definition of "unassisted birth" or "free birth"? I would like to give my own attempt at definition, as opinions differ.
For me, birthing alone does not mean that you are alone in a room and that no one is allowed to support you. For me, from the point of view of a midwife and mom, it means that you only have people around you who support you on your way to having a gentle, self-determined birth and who may not be in the room for large parts of the birth. That means you can fully listen to yourself and your baby and give birth undisturbed, at your own pace, with your strength, in your bond with your child. And of course, your partner can also be by your side, your mother, or a friend. It's about not letting your self-determination be taken away from you. And if you ask me, this is also possible with a midwife as a "backup". That's why I like the term "free birth" better than "Alone birth" because it includes support and doesn't build up this pressure that it's just a solo birth when you're really alone.
Here is the video of O'sha. I was the background midwife for this artist couple, my good friends June and Vincent. They only called me for the last hour of the birth and I would say to this day that it was a free birth, a birth without great assistance and intervention.
Again and again, I am asked if I would like to support couples on their way to free birth. Be it in person (i.e. as a backup in the background) or on the phone. I have already accompanied a few people all over the world on this path and I am very happy to do so online through regular communication and video calls. In the Philippines, my neighbor Monica only called me after the baby was born. So I came to the placenta birth and support afterward. You can hear her story here:
I would even go as far as to say that Jay, a woman from Mindanao, Philippines, had a free birth at a birth center because she gave birth on her yoga mat, self-determinedly, exactly how she wanted.
It's about the degree of freedom and self-determination in my opinion. And if that level of individuality can only be reached when, like my friend Sarah, one gives birth completely alone, then this is the right and wonderful path for a new mother to take. I would even go so far as to say that a conscious and well-informed cesarean section can be a free birth.
And you can definitely learn how to give birth in a self-determined and informed manner, through introspection and self-reflection. It helps to know what you want. Far more than what you don't want. There is a lot of information about what you need and have to prepare for a birth at home and on my homepage you will find important tips and tricks in the form of my blog posts and videos.
I hope this article can help you to find your own path and I would be very happy if I could accompany you on this journey. Check out my individual offers here: www.yourmidwifehour.com/avenues-of-support-offerings
Just arrange a free introductory call at yourmidwifehour@gmail.com
I look forward to you and your questions!
